BREAKING NEWS: JESUS IS DEAD!!!!!

Hebrew News Network

Today the so-called “Son of God” was executed on a cross in front of a multitude of spectators.  This finally brings to an end His 3 year tour of our countryside where He shared his parables with anyone who would listen.  There are those who said He even performed miracles, but these claims can not be verified.

As they took His body down, not many of His followers were even present.  His mother was there of course, mourning the loss her son.  Only a few of His “disciples” were even noticed hiding in the crowds.  We have heard that they scattered to the four corners of the earth as soon as He was arrested last night.  We tried to find some of them to ask them what they thought, but none of them can even be found.  I guess even His own followers had doubts.

Accounts of those closest to Him said that He would come back from the dead, but we know this was just a fable as well.

We did run into a man named Cleopas who was in town for Passover.  He is believed to have been a follower of Jesus as well, but all he would say is that he can’t believe it is over.  The last we saw of him he was returning to his inn to begin packing up for his journey back to Emmaus.

Not all were sad to hear of Jesus’ passing.  The council members of the Sanhedrin could be seen slapping each other on the backs and preparing to get back to life as normal.  One even told us, “I’m glad this whole farce has come to and end.  This Jesus figure has been a thorn in our side for far too long now.  We tried to tell everyone He was an imposter, but no one would believe us.  Now look, He is dead.”  He even sneered at the thought of rumors of Jesus’ prophesied resurrection.

What we can say is that a fear still remains with his staunchest critics.  As His body was prepared and placed in a borrowed tomb, a large stone was rolled in front of the entrance.  There were even members of the council and Roman Centurions stationed out front for good measure.  At least that way no one can remove His body and start rumors of this resurrection.

We have followed this man for some time now.  The more He spoke, the larger the crowds grew.  People would travel for miles around to come see Him whenever He was near.  Whatever His message was, His message of hope and love, it clearly struck a chord among the masses.  It is really a shame that it all had to be false.  At the end of the day, hopefully these fanatics will place their faith in the one true God.

We can say though that to the end this Jesus character never gave up on who He said He was.  At one point, before his death, He even told one of his fellow criminals, “Truly I say to you, today you shall be with me in Paradise.”  At least His lunacy was consistent.  And right before His last breath He could even be heard whispering, “Father, into Your hands I commit My spirit.”

This was just another ordinary crucifixion, other than for a time the skies grew dark.  The earth quaked.  It has also been said that the veil in the temple was torn in two.  Probably just some of his people causing some mischief.

So as night closes in, all seems back to normal.  No more worries from this man wandering around telling His tales.  But even for a time, the impact this man had on those around our small area of the world seemed positive.  The message was one of hope, service, and love towards one’s neighbor.  Hopefully, even now that He is gone, maybe some of these principles can live on.