Tetelestai

Tetelestai. Literally translated from Greek means, “It is finished. Done. Paid in full.” The last words that Jesus Christ said on the cross before he bowed his head and died. Jesus lived a life for us. He came down to Earth in human form to save ALL of us from our sins, his blood washes us clean. Then He rose from the grave and ascended into Heaven to continue to watch over and guide us.

Now I start this by saying I am not an ordained minister. I am not a preacher. I have had no formal training in theology; I know only what I’ve read in my Bible throughout my life. I am just a normal person like you. I have a wife and two amazing children. I have a job. Some days are better than others, but I am fully blessed. I have a house, two cars, two dogs, and an assorted array of fish. All things that most of you have. But what I didn’t have until about a month ago was a True relationship with Jesus Christ. A relationship that provides me with the opportunity to speak all day, every day with Him if I so choose. A relationship that allows me, through Him, to step out of my comfort zone and share with all who shall take the time to read this.

I won’t start today by giving a full history of my life, or even the changes that have taken place in a little over the past year, but I will start on the day when my life changed. Now with that being said, I was saved in high school. I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, I truly believe that. But as the circumstances of life changed, so did my relationship. We grew apart. We never talked anymore. The world took over, like it so often does and my Faith was put on the backburner.

The Day it All Changed

May 8th, 2017. A day that started like any other day. I woke up, got ready for work, took my Spark and headed out the door. Immediately, and I literally mean immediately, something started happening. I started to feel a pressure, an anxiety like a dark cloud came over me like I have never felt before. I worried about my children, I worried about my wife. I felt lost, afraid. I felt something was not right, an impending doom. About an hour later I clocked in at work but knew I wasn’t supposed to be there.

I tried to find my mentor, someone to talk to. He told me he was busy, come find him on Wednesday. I went to the only other person I knew could help. We went into the break room. I said, “Something is extremely wrong. I don’t feel like I’m supposed to be here.” He replied seriously, “Like on Earth, or at work?” Now as strange and drowning as I felt, suicide never crossed my mind. Finding GOD is what I was after.

We talked awhile, he had no answer other than prayer. I told my boss I couldn’t be there anymore. I clocked out and drove home. On the way, I listened to a sermon my mother had sent me the day before. A sermon about how to know what we are supposed to do with our lives. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I walked in the door, over to my couch and fell on my knees. I prayed like I have never prayed before. I prayed for God’s guidance, for strength, for the ability to get through the day. I found my Bible and randomly flipped through and read many passages that put everything in perspective.

You see, up until that point I was controlling my life. I had the reins in my hands, being led by what seemed to be the fastest horses on the planet. I zoomed here, I zoomed there, but I was always in control. I knew what was best, why did I need to go anywhere else for answers? I believe this is where most of us find ourselves one day….OUT OF CONTROL.

The Truth of It All

Here is the thing, this is what I realized that morning a little over a month ago. Until you relinquish the reins over to God, your life will always seem like a runaway train. Always going downhill at a breakneck pace, making the hairpin turns at the edges of cliffs at the last possible moment (at least we hope we can make the turn.) We were never meant to be in control. So even though we know that God is there, and that Jesus Christ died for us, why do we try to “take the bull by the horns?” Now I’m not saying we are meant to sit on the couch and wait for the cloud to move (Exodus 40:34-38) but we are supposed to surrender our lives to God. He has a plan, He has a path, He sees from a vantage point way higher than ours the course of our lives.

I’m not here to preach. I am not perfect. I’m not here to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. I’m not telling you to go right now to your local church and find the first Pastor you see. I’m not telling you to get down on your knees right now and pray to Jesus to forgive you of your sins (although if you haven’t done that, it might be a good idea.)

What I am here to do is share my story. Share my life. Share my experiences. In the hopes that it may help even one of you out there. I don’t know how blogs work. I’ve never done this before. I’ll say that again, I’ve never done this before, but it’s time to get out of my comfort zone. This whole process is completely new, and I know that there will be many bumps in the road along the way. But as I sat in church this morning something spoke to me. Well, not something, but God spoke to me. Not in an out loud way, but in my heart. I knew at that moment I was meant to come home and do this. So, if you choose to embark on this journey with me I welcome you. I welcome you along for all the good times, all the bad, and all those in between; and hopefully in the process we can all grow together in our relationships with our friends and family as well as in our relationship with the one who really is in control, Jesus Christ.